Trigger Warning

Back in 2009

I cried for help

I told everyone I knew

I was going to kill myself

My father said, “go ahead”

his usual behaviour…

i don’t know what I was expecting!

Anyway…

I did go ahead

I swallowed about thirty tablets

Woke up in my own puke

couldn’t stand up

head spinning

mom screamed

and called the ambulance

Father cried

And kept saying

He was sorry

and that he loves me

(for the first time ever)

i had never seen him look

this weak before

All this while

i was screaming

over and over again,

“why didn’t it work?!!”

thinking then

that my life

would get worse

i do not know if it has