When Mars Met Saturn v2.0

The stars were alligned

They had been much maligned

By the protagonist

Who had put them on his ‘Fuck Off!’ list

But he had grown wiser

The stars shone brighter

The tides went crazy

He was no longer lazy

The earth quaked

He returned to that which he had unmade

Strange portents filled the land

As he stared at the dropping sand

For Mars met Saturn once more

Letting our protagonist soar

Skipping on constellations

And making new relations

With the spirits he had spurned

In a fit of sanity

tl;dr : I’m back. This will not be my main blog, but I will be following a theme here. I feel like I have to split my writing now. I probably won’t get many subscribers here, but that’s okay. If you want to subscribe you are more than welcome to do so…if you don’t, that’s okay too. I am not playing that game any more.

[Epic Poem] Part 15: Fastest Rhetoric Gun in the West

[Epic Poem] Part 14: Nietzsche and the Didgeridoo

Cowboy philosopher Shorty
Greets them with a drawled, ‘how-de-do‘
Mary responds quite politely
But Anna is still haunted by Nietzsche’s didgeridoo

“So you want to know whereabouts here is,”
Shorty says, after tea and lemon tarts
“Not a simple question, worth a treatise,
But I’ll put it simply, lest I stop your hearts
We first thought it was heaven, when we arrived
Melange of different ages and amazing minds
But then Nietzsche came, and so we then divined
Menage neither heaven nor hell, a space outside time
Where the laws of the universe sometimes go on break
And we’ve even got an overly pink candy floss lake”

“So, why are we here?” asks Mary.
“Profound question,”Shorty replies,
“The answer could be twenty three
Sent here for a purpose, you were
Just what it is, I’m not sure
Perhaps you’ll find an answer in China Town.”

Image: Terrence Hill (I used to love watching his reruns on television as a kid)

[Poem] Druids vs Aliens

Dyson sphere, you make me laugh

Type two primitives, with your solar trough

Sailing through systems like a weak draught

***

The druid watches the aliens make planet fall

The lurid spectacle of the cruisers of the Borgsmall

Closing his eyes he brings stars into existence

Singing a tune he showers aliens with cosmic essence

‘Screw the laws of thermodynamics’, an extra verse to his mystical song

With a coda called, ‘Yo Schrodinger, sarong or no sarong?’

Entropy and order do his bidding

Type 10 druidom reigns supreme

***

Image: https://goo.gl/images/sDnSyi

[Epic Poem] Part 14: Nietzsche and the Didgeridoo

[Epic Poem] Part 13: Utopia!

Anna recovers quickly, though her head hurts bad

From eager Mary’s incessant profound chatter,

Her nurse’s bedside manner, makes Anna real mad
Anna cries, “Stop, just stop! Can’t bear this mind batter,

Weltanschauung, sine qua non, sensu strictos and propaedeutics, prima facie and otiose percipi!!!
If you’re not going to read me the Three Musketeers

Then let’s go out, I need to get off my sore derriere!”

Mary acquiesces, with one final “a fortiori!”

They set off to see Shorty, the cowboy philosopher

Rival of Demosthenes, the Demagogue whisperer

“Shorty knows everything about…oh, everything,”

Mary explains, “He’ll tell you why we’re here better.”

They pass by Merlin, a greybeard on a young face
Who lifts his pointy hat, with grace, finesse and zing
They nod their heads to his very polite howdedo.
Anna is quite fascinated, watching the passersby
She stops to watch Plato argue with Thoreau,
She could watch this forever she thinks… Until
She sees nude Nietzsche playing the didgeridoo

[Epic Poem] Part 15: Fastest Rhetoric Gun in the West

(I don’t know why, but I’m fascinated with didgeridoos… and hurdy gurdies!)

[Epic Poem] Part 13: Utopia!

[Epic Poem] Part 12: Ritual Magicks and a Colicky Bird

The Yggdrasil is summoned! Its branches swallow

The adventurers like a matador’s “Toro”.

Their destination reset by the bird’s outburst

They disembark far away from Valhalla! “Curst

Curst curst curst demon bird!” growls Thor, spitting out sand,

“Look where you’ve brought us, this vile and deserted land.

(When we reach there, Sæhrímnir’s food you’ll share)”

From this scene let us move to one quite contrary

And witness the happenings of Anna and Mary!

—-fade out—

—-fade in —

Scene: A colourful Parthenon, surrounded by

Arguing philosophers and yellow brick roads

Beautiful princesses and existential toads

Dueling dualists and material reductionists

Platonic caves filled with luminosity inherent

By stony induction. “Welcome to Utopia!”

Mary says to a newly arrived Anna.

[Epic Poem] Part 14: Nietzsche and the Didgeridoo

[Epic Poem] Part 12: Ritual Magicks and a Colicky Bird

[Epic Poem] Part 11: Highland Spirit

The intrepid heroes, after a quick siesta,

And fiesta, travel to old barn McDonald’s

No time to marvel at the farm’s flora/ fauna

They use Duff’s spare keys, to whom McDonald farm willed

As his rightful heir and successor. Duff don’t care

About the farm though. The tavern’s his rightful lair.

“All right,” Thor says, reading the sacred chalk drawn glyphs

On the inside of the barnhouse walls. Mockingbird burps.

“Silence,” Thor thunders, “can’t make a single mistake.”

“Yeah, quiet,” says the Bird, “or you’ll get the damn herps!”

“First the sacrifice,” Thor says, hidden pockets provide

He magicks a fire, exactly ten square feet wide

“Oranges and lemons for Saint Clement’s” he chants,

“Five farthings for the bells of Saint Martin’s,” he rants.

“Eh?” says Mocking Bird in glee,”did you say farting?

If I could do that, I’d make the sea a parting!”

“Demon bird,” Thor hisses, “just be quiet and still

Or I’ll roast you with parsley, sage, rosemary and dill!”

Thor throws in the fire his various offerings

While Mocking Bird mutters his vulgar proferrings

Thor dances around the fire, “ringa ringa Rosie,”

He then falls down and begins the final sacred chant

Thunder roars with his splendid syllables, “Ee Ai Ee Ai…”

Mocking Bird completes the magical ritual, “Uh Oh!”

[Epic Poem] Part 13: Utopia!

[Epic Poem] Part 11: Highland Spirit

[Epic Poem] Part 10: The Bet

The Scott and the Nord drink fine highland single malt

Cask after cask is taken from the tavern vault

Their burps contain pure spirit. Inflammable Belch!!!

Maid Nancy moves the lamps away. Clever Miss Welsh

Peter and James watch in dismay as Thor wavers

The mocking Bird inebriated in vapours!

James throws a pot of liquid at Thor’s reddened face

Thor roars, “Eel salad! Why you nincompoop disgrace?

You dare empty a chamber pot on my luster!”

James squeaks, “I thought it was water; pick-me-upster.”

McDuffie chortles, “drenched in piss! Just like old times”

Thor bristles, “Speak for yourself. Don’t bundle me with your crimes.”

McDuffie laughs as he falls off his chair…

and then dreams sweet dreams

The mocking Bird sings, cacophonous infusion

To McDuffie’s snores, “tankuberyuchyubigtshon.”

[Epic Poem] Part 12: Ritual Magicks and a Colicky Bird

[AA2] Day 44: HecatAPP: Moonlight Edition

[AA2] Night 43: Trivia meets Thomas

Magick Maker App for all your Wiccan Needs

WHAT’S NEW
WHAT’S NEW in version 4.1 Moonlight Edition
Added Moonlight support
Completely revamped OS that now supports Moon magick
Battery drain issues fixed, you no longer need to charge your phone… ever!
Signal issues fixed. Get unrestricted access to the Hecatapp network no matter where you are on the planet.
Sleek new UI to reduce time lag and magical drain
Now form ultra covens with the new intra-coven messaging app and perform unbelievable feats
Added new stock market minigame to Sacred Geometry. Just link your demat account to the app and become a millionaire… 100% return or more guaranteed daily
Fixed crashing issues and parsing errors from Ash Tree update 3.6
New Creation Magic added. Can be unlocked once Coven level reaches Elite.
Sacrifice counter added to Empath Nightmare Bringer mode. Now get credited for even the littlest scare.

[AA2] Day 45: Brahmarishi in the Making

[AA2] Night 43: Trivia meets Thomas

Previously [AA 2.1] Day 43: Dreaming with Ayahuasca

Thomas dreamt of himself and Hecate
His body had been getting used to the ayahuasca tea, but never before had it been as vivid as this full moon night. Shadows transformed into interdimensional creatures going about their ineffable, inexplicable duties in the multiverse. Moonlight transformed into fine wine that he could taste with all his senses. The cry of the bats outside his window sent pulses through his head that made him pendulate between universes. His shaman guide transformed into a network of colourful whorls that extended from the ground into the sky… but still no moon god. Where was he? Why wasn’t Thomas able to see him in his dreams any longer?
His room transformed into a stone paved intersection, surrounded by dark countryside. The air grew still, and all noises ceased. A beautiful woman appeared before him, her dark hair falling to beneath her waist, her green eyes blazing light amidst the utter darkness of his surroundings, her pale skin radiating luminescence.
She sang:

Where wanders the warrior of Moonlight?

One wonders why he looks so uptight.

Perhaps he is lost

I meet him now, but at what cost?

“Er… Hello, how do you do,” Thomas said to the woman. “I’m looking for the Moon. Could you help me?”

“Help you for a price

Come roll the dice”

Thomas found a pair of die in his palms and threw them on the grass, without thinking.
“Snake Eyes,” the woman shrieked with joy,

“The Die never lies.

You are mine at the cross roads

Directions I’ll give for two toads

Eat them now while they’re hot

Or else you’ll be regurgitating rot”

Thomas swallowed the two toads she held out to him in one gulp. If he was awake and in his proper senses he’d have never done such a stupid thing… perhaps, thought a part of him. He had trust issues, especially with women, but this crossroad place in the countryside was lulling his senses.

“Soma’s power I share now

I’ll now give it to that Venus sow

If you want to dream of the Moon, my pretty

Then stop drinking the Ayahuasca tea

It changes to Demeter your frequency

And not to the heavens, you see?

You’re dialling the wrong number

While Soma is in slumber.

Thomas thanked her, and then blacked out.

[AA2] Day 44: Hecatapp: Moonlight Edition

[Epic Poem] Part 8: The Flipping Bird

[Epic Poem] Part 7: Thor Fisticuffs

Shapeshifter?” The demon squeaks, “No, you damn feckt,
I’m a pretty mocking bird. Mock, mock and screw you!
That demon wraith ate me whole, that halitosed wretch!
And I got stuck in its throat! That freaking stink belch!!!”

“Can you understand its infernal dialect?’
Thor asks. Peter shakes his head, “Where’s Mary? Speak true.”

Bird cackles in wicked glee, “If you hate the rate
And really have to shake, then just castrate your mate!”

“Mad Fury,” Thor sighs, “the worst sort of punishment.
Definite warp in the space time continuum.
Once I finish this here magical annulment
Mary will appear and Fury bird disappear
Law of conservation of mass. So do not fear
Young Peter Peterson.” Thor begins his magic
While the bird hurls unintelligent abuses.
Viscount James, adjusting cravate, looks so tragic
While Thor’s aether magic over the area diffuses.
Anna disappears. Thor scratches his head, “I think I miscalculated.”

“YEAH, NO SHIT,” says the Mocking Bird.

[Epic Poem] Part 9: We’re Off to See McDuffie, The Wonderful Brewer of Brews!