I was born during the Great War between Mars and Saturn. When I was a wee laddie, I had to go wee-wee and landed on the planet Earth. I ate some ice cream that the muses had recommended. The vanilla affected my sense of direction and I haven't been able to find my way to my spaceship ever since. I was stranded on a planet where I didn't belong. To get revenge, I decided to write travesties of literature in order to annoy the muses.
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